I’m leaning my head against the cold granite
Pretending it is you I’m leaning on
You always were the buffer
The snow is prickling painfully under my knees,
it suits me just fine.
Pain is the only emotion
my brain seem to recognize these days,
it’s the only way I can tell I am still among the living.
If I believed there was a life after death
I would have followed you in a heartbeat.
And I wonder what I’m supposed to say to you
when I’m the only one who’s listening
I was never good at make believe
I dont know what you’d say if you could see me like this
The years came between us so fast
And I have yelled from the top of my lungs in despair
In frustration that I’m unable to freeze time
n’or can I rewind it
so we could do it all again
So it could have been right this time
This is just wrong
This is just wrong.
And so I run.
till my feet feels numb
Yeah, I just ran
Back to where it all began
But the only home I ever knew
had already been sold to someone new
So I ran to the harbour where your boat used to lie
sold to strangers, aswell- erased everything.
They would not leave me with anything to cling to.
Cut every chord so brutally
Not for me, not for you.
And as I stand amid the breakers
I scream one last time before the waves surrounds me
With my last breath of air, your name.
My father, I am begging you to answer it
Just this one last time before I drown
But you’ll never hear it.