Living in a bubble I can’t burst

I don’t know, what’s the deal

Is it bad luck or am I straight up cursed

Psychotic mess turned psycopath

Numb and cold, dealing with the aftermath

Feeling more like a machine than a human these days

Oh, I want to be so much more than this..

But I’m stuck in my old wicked ways

 

Does it even matter who or what broke me first

I don’t think I was ever quite right

 

I’m so ashamed

How I turned this ugly truth into a beautiful lie

How I sorta brainwashed myself into madness

I couldn’t handle it, I guess

It was this one thing that didn’t make me wanna die

 

But forgive me, now I do

I’ve fought so hard, but these walls won’t shake

Instead, it’s my own bones I break

in every damn bloody attempt to get a breakthrough

 

And now I tell you I’m sorry

for pulling you into this web i spun

Inside this damn dark head

I do feel bad..

To be frank, the only thing I could not fuck up

is probably if I were dead

So next time you see me, bring your gun

Pull the damn trigger, paint the wall with my useless brain

Then you can spit on my grave while you pop the champagne

 

Nothing about me is good or pure

Toxic and destructive; in blood, flesh, mind and soul

Is there even a cure?

And my brain, this damn nuclear bomb..

I just can’t control!

 

I’m so tired of this

All these endless nights, when I can’t sleep

and I can’t shut up in my head

And you are probably in someone else’s bed

I fucked up, what else is new

Know so damn well what I’ve put you through

I just wish I could call and ask how you do

Maybe I’d even admit to the fact that

I’m so damn lonely without you

 

You don’t care, I know

Always reaping the rotten fruit that I sow

Keeping myself on my toes

Endure all these bloody woes

I’m the worst person I’ve ever met

Isn’t strange how all my friends turn to foes

I am the one thing they all regret

 

Maybe it’s karma, maybe it’s just fate

I have to handle myself (even though I’m more than I can take)

And these walls, they won’t shake

These walls, these walls..

It’s all I know

Bang my head against these fucking walls

Inside this bubble, I can’t burst..

Does it even matter, who or what broke me first

I was never quite right