I lied

I think..

I’m not really all that great

My confidence is about to kill itself

Too many things went wrong at once

Like they always do

I said it once, I’ll say it again

I wish I never met you

And then you have the ones I love the most

Who I’ll always disappoint

Then you have my relationship with myself

and my never-ending frustration

over all the roads I take

that leads to nowhere

Oh and these nights

These fucking nights

Where everyone else is asleep

and I’m just counting seconds

Staring into the ceiling

Trying to control my thoughts

So they don’t go somewhere terrifying

They make me wanna die

When the light comes

I can roll over

and pretend like I’m not haunted anymore

The curse has been lifted

and I can sleep

But the days go by so fast

and it’s been how many years of this

and I know so damn well it’s not fucking normal

but I have no weapons against the silent dark

I feel like

Isolating

Surrender

Cave in

Break down

Give up

Tomorrow is just another day

I will sacrifice

for making it through the night

And everyone thinks I’m hopeless

and that is so fucking true

And it makes me wanna die

Take my head

Lobotomize me

If I have to be inside it any longer..

It makes me wanna die

Things felt different

for a little while

I thought I had found myself again

Like I have a clue

Like I remember

who I used to be

and I will never be enough

You said it so perfectly

without actually saying it

and it hits me so much harder than I’d ever expect

’Cause it’s like.. I already KNOW

These nights, they haunt me

My inner voice grows so loud in the darkness

and what it says becomes so damn cruel

It makes me wanna die!

I wish so bad I could just silence it with sleep

But I can’t, and all my demons know why

I wait for the light

i hold my breath and I wait for the light

I can’t fight this..

I lied

I think..

I am not really all right

Tok bare på meg skoa og sprang

Tomme gater, iskald vind- jeg følte ingenting

Sa jo til meg selv at dette blei siste gang

Annonsørinnhold

Hoka på salg: Kupp årets modeller til nedsatt pris

Tøffe jenter tåler alt, for vi må

Vi er dem ingen prøver å forstå

Tøffe jenter tåler alt, for vi må

Og ingen vet hvor dype sår vi bærer på

Sminke over ringene under øya, ingen skal vite at vi har grått oss i søvn

Stygge ord som treffer rett i hjertet- jeg føler faktisk alt

Smile på bestilling; hvite tenner, hvit løgn

Du har fortsatt ikke hørt et ord av det jeg har fortalt

For tøffe jenter tåler alt, fordi vi bare må

Vi er dem ingen prøver å forstå

Tøffe jenter tåler alt, fordi vi må

Og ingen bryr seg om de sårene vi bærer på

Føler for å flekke tenner

Føler for å gå rett i strupen

Spør heller om vi skal være venner

For jeg må jo alltid se alt og alle gjennom den jævla lupen

Selv om ingen noen gang gidder å gi det samme tilbake..

Tøffe jenter tåler alt, fordi vi må

Vi er dem ingen prøver å forstå

Tøffe jenter tåler alt fordi vi må

Og ingen bryr seg om sårene vi bærer på

Og vi smiler så det gjør vondt

Og sier «Alt går bra!»

Men det gjør jo faen aldri det

Fordi..

Vi må tåle alt

Vi må tåle alt

Vi må tåle alt

Og det tar aldri slutt

Men alt går bra!

Tøffe jenter..

Fordi vi må.

Vi er dem

Verden ikke gidder å ta vare på

Tøffe jenter..

Fordi vi må

Og alt går fint

Alt går fint.

Will probably be slaughtered for this, but I had to write one last song to say the last goodbye.. It’s not to flip you off, I swear.. But if I can handle ypur brutally honest feedback you kinda owe me the same grace.. Peace!

Annonsørinnhold

Oversikt over salgene: De beste kuppene nå

You read each one of my words and you still don’t get it

I’m clearly going through it

Thanks for the stone cold judgment when I could have used a hand to hold

A shoulder to lean on..

We’re blood, but it clearly means nothing

You’re all so fine with me bleeding out..

And now I think I will

You still don’t get that I use the words to press against each and every wound..?

That people just keep expecting me to take each stab straight to the heart and that I am fucking indestructible..?

Oh, and thanks for the newest blow..

It hurts me so much more than you’ll ever know

(I don’t think you even care though!)

I’m so sick of other people telling me who and what I am

But I don’t know how to deal with it when it comes from my fam

Yeah I get it. i don’t fit into this picture perfect family..

What can I do about it but cry in my misery..

Yeah I cry about it in my misery!

I should have been a nurse and a wife and a mother, I should have been religious..

And I’m none of those things, but that doesn’t make me vicious

Yeah, I talk about sex but how is that a hate crime

If I was fucking for the purpose of a kid it would be fine

It would be fine!

You say I’m almost 40 years old and I can’t act this way

Write what I want and say the things that I say

I gotta keep up with the standards you set

I gotta play by the rules you decide

You can’t let this slide

Just know you’re asking me to commit emotional suicide

You’re asking me to commit emotional suicide!

You got a view inside my mind and you hated it there

And then you rip me to pieces like you don’t even care

I’m sorry I can’t go through life like you do

I’m just not built for it

I can’t just wrap up everything inside and keep it there

You can’t handle that I talk about it so I write it here

I discovered young that words hold power

They can heal!

I always knew I was born very different..

Because I am not afraid to feel..

And we are blood, but it clearly means nothing

You’re all so fine with me just bleeding out

and now I think I will

I think I finally will!

Just know you’re asking me to commit emotional suicide

Now you’re asking me to commit emotional suicide..

You don’t have to take it personal

It’s all about me

Just pouring my heart out

I don’t know how else I can be

’Cuz I have feelings like we all do

I can’t do that robot-shit that you do

Where do good things go once they’re gone..?

I guess you just have to find it with someone else

(If you can.. It always feels like you never will)

I just need time to recover

I hate the pain but I deal with it still

All my words, they don’t mean shit

People never listen to it

You meant something to me, I mean nothing to you

I still can’t do that robot-shit you do

I just wonder..

Where do good things go once they’re gone..?

I guess you just let it die, then you bury it

(It always feels like you never will though)

I hate how I always gotta be so tough

I really am so fucking soft, but it’s never enough

And these words that I write, they don’t mean shit

Because people never listen to it

You don’t have to take it personal

I’m just here talking to myself

The way it’s always been

You hit me hard, but I try to take it on the chin

and now I can’t help but wonder..

’Cuz where do good things go once they’re gone?

I guess you just let them pass on to the other side alone

And time goes by and then you forget

(It just feels like you never will)

And I hate the pain but I deal with it still

I deal with it still..

By the northern shore..

You sleep forevermore.. 

Buried under the snow

Annonsørinnhold

Hoka på salg: Kupp årets modeller til nedsatt pris

I love you so much more than you’ll ever know

I’ve felt something real for someone who’s fake

But all these years passed, you’re still my biggest heartbreak

and I’m so sorry you never got to grow old

But I swear this life is not gonna make me cold

I buried my heart with you, you can keep it

I don’t think I’m gonna need it

I’m not gonna need it!

By the northern shore

You’ll sleep forevermore

I buried my heart in Båtsfjord..

Keep it, dad, I’m not gonna need it

The twists and turns of this life..

It can be very hard to navigate sometimes

And it slaps you in the face and stabs you in the chest

At times it feels like one big test

and I know I’m not gonna grow old..

But I swear I won’t die cold

I won’t die cold!

You never know what people are capable of before the damage is done

I might have buried my heart with my father, but I still have one

Yeah, I still have one!

I buried my heart with you, you can keep it

I don’t think I’m gonna need it

I’m not gonna need it!

By the northern shore

You’ll sleep forevermore

I buried my heart in Båtsfjord..

Keep it, dad, I’m not gonna need it

It’s with you, but I still feel it

Yeah, I still feel it

❤️‍🔥

I just want to type in something funny, something just for the hell of it, write another song where I don’t give a single fuck. I’m just not feeling it. But I don’t feel like writing about how I am actually feeling right now either. So I’ll just do what I always do and freestyle. About aaanything other than my emotions.

Annonsørinnhold

Netthandelen tømmer lageret: Siste sjanse på kvalitetsvarer med opptil 75% rabatt

I’m in my bed and in my head again

(Fuck!! I’m talking ‘bout emotions..)

Switch topic!

I wonder what and who you’re doing right now?

(Nope, wrong question)

I’m doing really bad at this

I need to change direction

I just need to not give a fuck

I just need to not give a fuck

I JUST NEED TO NOT GIVE A FUCK..!

(and I really didn’t so how did I get here??)

So yeah, I’m in my bed and in my head again

But you can stay out of it, so I can’t be there

C’mon now, bitch- what do normal people think about

(Oh fuck, I don’t have a clue)

I just have a fucking pit in my stomach

And it looks a lot like you

(FUCK!!)

Ok, ok, let me try again

We can talk about how stupid I am

I was doing good, I still am

(It’s just.. Oh, fuck)

Ok, I would not change a thing

(That’s how stupid I am)

Some people mess with you just ‘cuz they can

And I just need to not give a fuck

I just need to not give a fuck

I just need to not give a fuck..!

Can I ask a serious question tho?

How do you walk around made of stone?

I don’t think I wanna know

I’ll take THIS over THAT any day

I feel it all, and sure there’s a prize to pay

But I would not have it any other way

I would not have it any other way!

Phew, I got the words right there because now I feel okay

Yeah, now I feel OKAY..

And if I could tell you just one thing of worth

It is that it is OKAY TO HURT

IT’S OKAY TO HURT

(Fear nothing my darlings.. Feelings least of all ❤️)

I should be sleeping

Instead I am lying here weeping

If only you’d know where I’ve been and where I have to go

Annonsørinnhold

Oversikt over salgene: De beste kuppene nå

All my scars you’ve never seen, even if you have seen me naked..

I’m tattoeed from head to toe with invisible ink

You felt different

Because you felt the same

I need to talk about it in therapy

All the stuff I’ve carried for so long I can’t remember

I just don’t know how..

I AM part Aphrodite, part Hera..

I’m just always forced to be the latter

I’d wish you’d let me be the first

Just for a little while..

God, I need it so desperately

But I never get to be cuz..

Tough girls suffer the most

Yeah, tough girls suffer the most..

And the world will never believe it

Trust me, I know

I don’t need anything from anyone

I have always been alone it seems

These cruel nights, I spend them in my own company

Drowning in a sea of misery

I hurt because it hurts

I’m not the type to numb the pain

I feel every ounce of it

I guess that’s the bravest thing I do

I can say this for certain, but can you..?

I will work through all of this like I always do

But it will require strength, and I would love a place where I could just be soft

I thought maybe I’d get to do that with you

That’s why I fucked you without armour

and came to you with no weapons

Big mistake..

Do I seem like a machine to you?

Like most people expect me to be like?

I guess I do, but just know that..

Tough girls suffer the most

The world will never catch us a break

Yeah, tough girls suffer the most..

And the world will never believe it

’Cuz we are tattooed from head to toe with invisible ink

and no one ever sees it

No one ever sees it

And I want to scream it to the whole wide world

But they would never believe it..

Tough girls suffer the most..

Yeah, tough girls suffer the most

It shouldn’t hurt this much, I feel pathetic

I loved my dad’s big heart, but I hate my own-

can’t help that I feel so intense, it’s genetic

Annonsørinnhold

Superkupp innen sport og friluft du gjør nå

Gave it two shots, now do I regret it?

No, I can’t because..

Time moved different with you..

I really gave you everything when you entered my body

It just happened naturally

I wasn’t ready to let it go

But I had to

and I hate that..

You said you’re out, I said I was never in

If that’s true then why do I feel like crying

Why do I feel like crying..?

I wrote it myself: Nothing in this world we live in lasts forever..

I hate how I’m wired sometimes

I said some things I shouldn’t have like I always do

Happens every damn time I get hurt

I can never say it to your face

But I’m sorry, for what it’s worth

You said you’re out, I said I was never in

If that’s true then why do I feel like crying

Why do I feel like crying..?

I wrote it myself: Nothing in this world we live in lasts forever..

And it’s true on my part: Nothing in my world lasts forever

Forever..

Just going through the full range of damn emotions.. Hope I don’t give you wiplash!

Annonsørinnhold

Hoka på salg: Kupp årets modeller til nedsatt pris

There’s some places I wish I’d never been

There’s some faces I wish I’d never seen

I already know it’s gonna haunt me

I already know it won’t be easy to forget

I learned so young you can hold but you also gotta let go

I think I could have loved you, you know..

Why did I have to..

Why did you have to..

I wish we’d never met

I was doing fine

Just minding my own business

I moved on long ago

Things were finally falling into place

Now I can’t stop thinking ‘bout your face

Or how you made me feel

I’m so mad dumb

’Cuz none of it was real

Why did I have to..

Why did you have to..

Oh how I wish we’d never met

There’s stuff I wish I’d never done

Always said I was born to run

but some rare people just feels like home

and you miss them as soon as they’re gone

And I haven’t felt that feeling a lot to be honest

Still I learned so young you can hold but you also gotta let go!

I think I could have loved you, you know

You didn’t have to hit me where it hurts the most..

I hate you for starting this

I want to forget it all

But when I close my eyes I’m back in your arms and..

Why did I have to..

Why did you have to..

Oh I wish we’d never met

They say «just because you can, doesn’t mean you should..» Well, fuck that! If you can, DO it and then add extra horsepower to it 😆

Annonsørinnhold

Oversikt over salgene: De beste kuppene nå

This time I don’t feel like over-explaining shit

More like just rrripping out your throat and get it over with

Did you think you were the G.O.A.T and I was your little bitch..?

You should read up on my last song, cuz I really did FLIP switch!

Yeah, I can be an asshole and I can be a dick

and I eat men like you for breakfast prick

And then I spit you out ‘cuz you taste like shit!

I’m a dragon you dumb little sheep

Did you really think I’d feel anything but scorn..?

You can refer to my up-coming lyrics as ‘revenge porn’

I am part Aphrodite/part Hera

and if I want I can get wet like the river Madeira

but I also got a brain and a tongue like a sword and a shield

I am master of the WORD, welcome to my battlefield!

I said welcome to my battlefield!

Yeah, I can be an asshole and I can be a dick

and I eat men like you for breakfast prick

And then I spit you out ‘cuz you taste like shit!

I got you in a choke-hold and I don’t care if you tap

Just tap-out you bitch!..

I’m going for the SNAP!

And who the fuck has the balls to say girls can’t rap..?

You should have screwed over Eminem, he would have gone softer on you..

You should have researched me better, so you’d know the stuff I can do

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah! I can be an asshole and I can be a dick

and I eat men like you for breakfast prick

And then I spit you out ‘cuz you taste like shit!

Yeah, I can be the biggest asshole and the biggest dick

and to tell you the truth I am PROUD OF IT!