It’s all in or all out now

Shit scared, but it doesn’t always show

You don’t have to tell me how fucking privileged I am

Or how pathetic all of these doubts are

’Cuz trust me, I know

Fear is the anchor, and I just can’t let go

Ah, stupid bitch for thinking all of this

Just do what you gotta do, to get through this

But these thoughts, can’t shake ‘em off

I gotta be harder, tougher, not so fragile and soft

But these barriers, I can’t break

I want to break out

Instead I’m breaking down

and no one else can be strong for me

I got to handle myself on my own

But the enemy is talking to me in my head

For a while I thought I’d slayed this wicked demon and that it was buried and dead

But now it got me close to suicidal instead

Ah, c’mon I know better than this

For so long this opportunity was just a wish

But this questioning myself to bits

Gets me thinking I should just slit my wrists

I gotta be braver, stronger, not this fragile and soft

but being bold comes at such a cost

if I cave in now, does that mean all will be lost

I fought so hard to get this far

Just this one time, I don’t want to step back

But keep pushing forward

Get to somewhere, anywhere

that isn’t a cage made out of fear

I gotta sum up the force, I gotta do what it takes

But these barriers, these barriers in my mind

They won’t break

They won’t break!

And now I’m questioning every part of me, questioning my courage, my cojones- Do I got what it takes..?