When you need a f’ing therapist badly, but all you got is an ‘effing blog 😇 Bear with me!
Lately every day I’ve been waking up shaking
Just getting outta bed is fucking painstaking
I’m growing old, man- but I ain’t getting wiser
People think I’m doing alright but honestly I just got better at faking
There’s gotta be more to life
Than this constant twisting and turning the knife
in these old bloody wounds, why can’t I let them heal?
Why is it that at fucking 36
I am still terrified of what I feel?
There’s gotta be, gotta be- more to life than this
But to be honest I don’t even know what it is that I miss
Argh, I should figure shit out
Lately every day I live through feels wasted
There’s all these flavours to life that I have yet not tasted
I stick to poison that just leaves a bitter taste in my mouth
I tell myself I can grow despite this drought
I tell myself I can do better but all I feel is doubt
There’s gotta be more to life
Than this constant twisting and turning the knife
in the old bloody wounds, why can’t I let them heal?
Why is it that at fucking 36
I still question what is real?
There’s gotta be, gotta be more to life than this
It frustrates me that I don’t even know what I miss
I see all these people on socials, they look so damn happy
But what they have, that’s not what I want
There’s gotta be more to life
than motherhood and being a wife
I can’t have kids, I know for sure I’d just fuck ’em up
Can’t hold down a job
and I can’t have a relationship that goes beyond a temporary hookup
I’m 100% toxic, that’s cyanide in my cup
I’m pure poison, can’t help it so bottoms up
Tell me, is there more to life?
Sometimes I’m not sure who’s hand that’s twisting the knife
All I know, these old bloody wounds they won’t heal
My nerves ain’t exactly forged in steel
At 36 they still snap like overstrung strings
At 36 I still got issues with the smallest of things
There’s gotta be, gotta be more to life than this
36 years of searching, and I still don’t know what I miss
There’s gotta be more to life
There’s gotta be more to life!
Than the rusty blade of that fucking knife..
There’s gotta be more, more to life than this
36 years, I just wish I knew what I miss..
I wish I knew what exactly I miss
36 years, I still can’t answer this