Had an appointment today, but prioritized a little extra sleep over doing my makeup. A very common phenomenon around here!
The bag is the Alexander Wang ‘Brenda’ bag, I wanted one for yeeears (Tried googling when it was released but couldn’t find it, I think somewhere around 2010..?) and initially I was drawn to it because it was quite rough-looking – my Brenda is NOT- but when I stumbled across this rose gold version on Ebay I was like «OK, that’s the one». I was about to turn 30 (which to be honest was a milestone I did not believe I would reach, because damn.. I’ve had my share of suicidal periods..) and this bag was my gift to myself. I decided in advance (a very good advice if you plan to bid on auctions!) that I would not go any higher than 200 $ and it ended up mine. One thing that is really cool about this bag is that the rose gold is supposed to start cracking by wear and tear, and then the leather underneath will appear, changing how the bag looks. So it is a very pretty bag now, but by time it will become more rough-looking. I think this is such a cool and creative concept, and I’m excited to see what it will look like years down the road.
This ring is from Disney Couture, I love this quote. It’s a locket ring, but I haven’t put anything inside it yet- I’m thinking maybe a photo of my dad? Or my nephews? Or just a handwritten note that says «You can». Or I can keep a valium in there, for emergency needs 😅 (I’m joking.. But it IS a possibility 😂)
My mum and I wandered around in a mall after my appointment, and on a whim we ended up at the liquor store. I’m NOT a big drinker and to be honest I prefer not drinking even at parties but.. It’s okay to have some in back-up I guess because I do end up always being the one free-loading on everyone else if I DO drink 😅 I am pretty clueless when it comes to alcohol, so I was drawn to the prettiest packaging as you can see, lol. The Disaronno I am familiar with though, it’s really good! I just do shots. It’s most effective 😜
We also went by the Norwegian high-end store ‘Høyer’, it was my first time there! I’ve always felt too poor for that kind of stores and imagined that the staff would just instinctively know that and kick me out 😅 But today I had the balls, and well.. I was not impressed to be honest. Nothing stood out to me as particularly interesting or screamed high quality or very unique. There was some Marc Jacobs and Tory Burch in terms of big international brands, but not in high quality materials that to me would somewhat justify the pricetag. I guess I am grateful for feeling this way though, because I AM in fact too poor to shop there 😂
Wish you a good weekend 🌹 I have some plans, but I do like to just be spontaneous and kind of just go wherever the wind takes me soooo… I really feel like going to the library, I haven’t read a book in a while and I need to dive into someone else’s world for a while. I don’t want to get too caught up in my own head, it does tend to happen to me still- especially at night-time.
I want to take care of my mental health now more than ever, I don’t want to miss out on work and I really want to stretch out this period of progress and positivity for as long as I can- because the longer it lasts the more confident I can say that «This was MY hard work- it was not part of a manic episode». I need this so bad.. To feel like I am in charge and making rational decisions that leads me forward, that I am in fact brave and not just ‘high’ from the mania. But you know, there’s parts of life we can’t control and I just have to be okay with that. It is NOT a defeat to be sick! And it does not mean the end of the world if it happens.. That has to be the ultimate goal, that if bad luck strikes and I end up hospitalized for some months.. Okay, that was a knock-out, but pick up my teeth and get back on my feet!
Finishing off with the photo I think I’ll put in my locket ring.. My beautiful, beautiful boys ❤️#proudauntie The oldest ALWAYS replies to me when I tell him I can’t do something: «You CAN do it, Suja!». Makes my heart burst.. 😭 If this amazing lil’ guy has faith in me, I want to live up to it!! Believing IS just the beginning!
