It’s just another day
I can’t get up, get on with this life
I never asked for, I didn’t know
What I signed up for
Hellride
I need a guide
Someone point a gun to my head
I have to decide
Join the living or the dead
Halflife..
🌑
And who cares If I live or die
Not me
Not me
And who cares why
My brain implodes under the pressure
Of merely being alive
Does it matter, if I try
I want to feel it all, work through the pain
But there’s tears too bitter to cry
Chasing a life I can’t attain
Do you understand
I don’t think I can live through the madness again
🌑
And who cares if I don’t feel a thing
Not me
Not me
This shit is outta my hands
I’m like a plane with no pilot- nosedive, deathspin, then crashlands
And you never laid a hand on me
Still, you hurt me more than you can see
🌑
This way of thinking will lead to nowhere
And I’ve thought it all before
These words, on repeat in my head
Rings so true, I have to believe
That I am better off dead
🌑
Who cares how it ends
I’ve spent so many years
Inside this head, this bad hood
I can’t get my act straight
Always misunderstood
I know I will lose my mind again
Do you understand
I can’t do a thing, my hands are tied
I couldn’t even kill myself..
Believe me, I tried
🌑
Every choice I make
Is another mistake
And every time I try to turn things around
I lose my damn mind
I can’t find..
I can’t find the road that leads me to somewhere
Somewhere I don’t want to leave myself behind
🌑
And who cares if I live or die
Not me
Not me
I can’t lie
I think I want to die the most
Every battle I’ve fought, I’ve lost
Should I live on, when I can’t pay the cost
The price to be alive is so high,
The crazy shit I’ve done- Always the bad guy
This pain makes me numb
All these mistakes, didn’t learn a thing
Still dumb.. Scum of the scum..
This hell, I know it all too well
Stuck inside my head
Alive or dead..
I don’t know anymore
I’m limping on, but I won’t get far
This bipolar life feels like war
🌑
And who cares if it ends or begin
Not me
Nah, not me
Who cares if I lose or win
I can’t care for myself right now
And if I feel anything at all
I can’t seem to let it show
But I want you to know
I used to feel so hardcore that my heart went sore
Maybe I just couldn’t handle it anymore
But I miss how my heart would swell, with pain, with pleasure
And I miss having a brain I knew so well, a brain that could handle the pressure
Maybe I’m delusional
When I think back, I can’t remember handling anything at all
And there never was a backbone to handle the fall
And when you lose yourself, there is no one to call
🌑
Who cares if I hate myself to pieces
And who cares if this bipolar cycle never ceases
I used to think there was a blip of hope on the radar
I used to look up at the sky, begging the universe to give me a leading star
But the darkness grows inside my skull
And I know I eventually have to subdue to the raving, raging manic bull
🌑
This crazy, terrifying demon that lurks at the back of my mind
The key to staying sane, I just can’t find..
I don’t want to see more of this psycho bitch..
I’d rather go blind
I don’t know who I am anymore or how to feel about myself and all the psycho shit I do
The worst thing is, I know that goes for everyone around me too
And I don’t want to be in this state
But truthfully, I was always a very easy person to hate
And who cares..
Who cares if it was always too late
To wipe the slate
You can’t always choose your fate
