Soldier of life


Two steps forward, ten steps back

Courage and wisdom are things that I lack

And my self respect is dead and gone

Life fucking hurts, I’m broken and bruised to the bone

So fucking insecure..

I hate myself

Yeah, I hate myself..

but I love you more



I can’t do this!

If I die, will you let me stay asleep?

I can’t do this..

I’m too scared to walk out the door

If I die, don’t let me come back to life

Sometimes I think I’ve been here before



I feel too much

I think too damn loud

I love my mama but

I can’t find a way to make her proud

I go crazy either way

Sad, happy, here she goes again

Call the cops, reel me in

I try so hard but I just can not win

And it’s taking its toll

How can I be this immature, and yet feel so old..



I don’t want to!

Open my eyes to another day

My fucking haunted head, always leading me astray

Why, god, why am I made this way??

Shut me off, kill me now

Or let me live, just tell me how

Just tell me HOW


I can’t do this…


Get your shit together

Stitch up your broken pieces

and keep moving

Your head is weak, so your heart must be strong

You know who you want to become

Get out of your foxhole, soldier

You’re still alive and the war ain’t over

Keep moving!



I just don’t

Just don’t want to..

Can’t see that I’m worthy

To keep fighting for

If I could believe in myself the way I believe in you

I’m so sorry for the shit I put you through

And still you stand by my side

Making it so damn hard to leave it all behind

If only I could keep you, but leave myself..

If only I could handle this life without losing my mind

I’m not cut out for this hellride

And I’m not worthy of your love

But I love you back ten times for it

And I’ll try

For you

If you keep believing in me

Maybe someday I can too


Keep moving soldier!

You’re still alive

and the war ain’t over

I can and will do this

I’m broken and bruised to the bone

But I have your love and with you I belong

I get so fucking lost sometimes,

but I always find my way back home

And if you can live with me being like this..

I owe it to you to be just as strong.


Daughter! Sister! Soldier of life!

My head is weak, and my heart  might be too..

But if I can, I will make it strong- for you.

I’ll snap back from the insanity

Yeah, I’ll keep moving forward- I’ll do it for my family

I can’t do it for me, but I will try for my family.

Because you are my why.

You are the best part of me



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