For years, I seemed doomed
My mind was a desert, a wasteland where nothing bloomed
I locked myself up in my room
and every night I wished upon a star
and begged death to take me, and soon
I’ve made mistakes I can’t erase
I’ve felt I was a hopeless case
and I don’t know if I can set the record straight
But the past will not determine my fate
They said “She’ll end up abusing someone or something”
They said for sure I’d die young
and for years, I could only hear the alarm ring
and I couldn’t explain myself to myself, I would only bite my tongue
Well, I reached 30 and then some
and now that I look back
I see just how far I have come
There’s tragedies and crimes in my past I can’t erase
and everyone thinks I’m still a hopeless case
Suicidal since the tender age of eight
But I learned that death can and will wait
And the past, the past will NOT determine my fate
It will not determine my fate
I guess it’s easy to just label me broken
Sometimes I think so too, and I look at all these wounds
that are still raw and infected and open
But I carried so much weight without breaking
and I stood my ground all the times it was shaking
and I’ve endured so many years with this intense, throbbing aching
and I am finally learning
just to let go
While I hang on
to myself..
It’s not too late
No, it’s not too late
I tore myself free from this miserable state
I balance the thin line between love and hate
And all i know, all I know
Is the past will not determine my fate
The past will not determine my fate
