The rattle of chains, ringing in my head

Status quo is chained to my bed

I should walk out that damn door

Grab life by the balls and squeeze for all I’m worth

But right now I feel worthless

So I stay right put and thrash-talk myself instead

 

God, how did I end up as one of the most privileged

A safe country, a roof over my head, all the opportunities just dangling right in front of my face

The future in front of me, shoulda been ablaze

Shoulda, coulda, woulda..

Asking myself «Why don’t ya?»

The answer is merely just «HAH»

I’m stuck in my head

Stuck in my damn head, living like I’m already dead

 

I’m the sole reason why my life is rough

I can be brave, at times but..

I can’t be brave enough

 

I hate this person staring back in the mirror

I hate how I break when I need myself the most

I hate how when life throws me punches

My damn brain just goes «adios»

I chase this dream, to be more than I am now

But I can’t get seem to get anywhere close

 

Don’t feel bad for me, nah

I get what I deserve

I’m the sole reason why my life is rough

I can be brave, at times but..

I can’t be brave enough

I can’t be brave enough!

 

How did I end up like one of the lucky ones?

I got it all, got nothing to complain about

Never deserved it, just happened to be born here

Still, the guts needed just ain’t there

I shoulda, coulda, woulda..

Asking myself «Why don’t ya?»

I’m the reason why my life is rough

I know, I know this

I can be brave, at times

But I can’t, I just can’t!
Be brave, be brave, be brave ENOUGH

 

 

For my sefune (soulchild) forever ❤️

 

You’re in the dark

Pitch black walls, that’s all you see

and I wish I could tell you, but sad truth is

that you can’t always rely on me

 

I’m so sorry baby

All the times I called you, batshit crazy

It’s so much better if you just let yourself hate me

I’d rather have it that way

than you thinking you should be the one to save me

 

You are lost right now, but I have all the faith in the world for you

I can see all the things you don’t believe that you’re capable to do

And I still believe you have it in you

To push your way through

 

What we say, what we feel, what we do

I doubt myself

I’ve never doubted you

 

You’re in the dark now

But there is still light in you

Baby, you gotta let it shine

Feeling lost, is not a crime

And you still got time

You are so young, you’ve lived through so much

I want so bad to stay sane for you, so my hand is there if you need it to clutch

We both need crutches at times, but baby one day we’ll run free

I hope I’ll always be around when you need someone

To remind you of all that you can be

 

What we say, what we feel, what we do

I can lose my mind

I can not lose you

 

Baby, I wish I could tell you now

How much you mean, how loved you are

When I am in the dark, I think of you

When the sky turns dark you are my shining star

Baby, you got it in you

You can get so far

Leave all this shit, all the demons, all the darkness behind

There’s a bright future on the horizon, one that I know you can find

Even at times when you feel completely blind

I promise you, it’s there..

Don’t let go

 

What we say, what we feel, what we do

Oh, I hate myself at times

But I will always love you

And I want you to love yourself too

 

 

There’s a room without windows or doors

I guess it was a prison cell in hell

I burned inside it for ages

I’ll always remember the smell

The stench of fear and burning flesh..

Why is it always the worst parts of life we remember too well..?

 

There’s no greater evil

Than the devil that talks to you from within

I need armour of iron

And I need to wear it under my skin

 

I made it out, but there was a price

The devil made me roll the dice

I still gotta pay, each and every day

I am just a puppet in the devil’s play

I don’t have complete control

There’s times when someone else paves out the way

And every now and then I gotta return back to the cell and I got no choice but to stay

 

There’s no greater evil

Than the devil that talks from within

I need armour of iron

And I need to wear it under my skin

 

It took all I had

To walk away

Someone traced each step I made

A trail of blood, from walking on the blade

The future is merely just a shade

The good die young, of course I’m still alive

If I could, I would trade

Life scares me now, more than ever

My worst fear is to die

Only to discover I have to exist forever

 

There’s no greater evil

Than the devil that talks from within

I need armour of iron

And I need to wear it under my skin

 

I am so alone now

There’s no one talking louder than the voices in my head

They tell me to just go to sleep

and pretend that I am dead

But at some point I gotta wake up

Then they tell me how I fail

Bleeding from walking on the blade

All the devils are on my trail

They want me chained up and back in my cell

They tell me that all I have coming

Is burning for all eternity in hell

Now the stench of fear and burning flesh..

Now that’s all that I can smell

Why is it always the worst parts of life

we remember all to well..?

 

There’s no greater evil

Than the devil that talks from within

I need armour of iron

And I need to wear it under my skin

I need it under my skin!

 

 

I thought I had this all figured out

Why I had to go and leave my old life behind

I forged this heart from steel, but now it’s turning tender

Time goes by, and now I can’t remember

I’m not quite sure how I feel

All I know, is I’m back in your arms

 

Ah, we had some good times, didn’t we

Although we both agree

That we are not each other’s destiny

But now you’re back inside of me

And we’re back to adding more pages

To this complicated history

 

I really thought I’d made up my mind

But I’ve said this before:

A good fuck is hard to find

I guess a good fuck can also make you go blind

But now I tell myself never mind

Back to dirty business, back to being your mistress

Pretending I can’t hear the ringing alarms

All I know, is I’m back in your arms

 

Ah, we had some good times, didn’t we

Although we both agree

That we are not ment to be

But now you’re back inside of me

And we’re back to adding more pages

To this complicated history

 

You’re in my bed and in my head again

Although I burned all the pages and flushed the ashes down the drain

And the story we write now, will probably end up just the same

I see it coming, so I only got myself to blame

Guess I’m addicted to this game

And addicted to you, and how you got my leg in spasms

It’s crazy what I’ll do

For these orgasms

 

Ah, we had some good times, didn’t we

Although we both agree

That we are not each other’s destiny

But now you’re back inside of me

And we’re back to adding more pages

To this complicated history

And I pretend, argh I’m so good at pretending!

Like I can’t hear the ringing of alarms

All I know, all I know is..

I’m back in your arms

 

 

 

 

The light, it seems too harsh at times

The days, they feel too long

I find it hard to get out the door sometimes

There’s nowhere I belong

 

And they say «Memento mori»

«Remember, you’ll die soon

It’s time you start to live, now»

But I was made for the moon

 

The night feels warm and welcoming

There’s not a soul in the streets

I only fit in, when there’s no one else around

So I can go without daylight for weeks

 

And they say «Memento mori»

«Remember, you’ll die soon

It’s time you start to live, now»

But I, I was made for the moon

 

I don’t have anything to show up for

I’m so used to locked doors

It’s hard to find purpose, or meaning

It’s hard to believe in anything-

Least of all myself..

I used to lie to myself to get through life

I can’t lie to myself anymore

 

There’s no expectations in the darkness

There’s no one around that I can fail

I am too visible in the sunshine, all my flaws gets so exposed

I tell myself to be brave, go out there anyway

But to no avail

 

And they say «Memento mori»

«Remember, you’ll die soon

It’s time you start to live, now»

But I can only live under the moon