Maybe it means something, maybe it doesn’t – with me you never really know 😉 Either way it’s just a song!

Annonsørinnhold

Netthandelen tømmer lageret: Siste sjanse på kvalitetsvarer med opptil 75% rabatt

Said I never really plan anything

Told ya’ll I am forever in freestyle

Don’t be pissed..

I flipped the switch

I am heading in another direction

Have no clue where this road will lead

Told ya’ll I’m forever in freestyle

Flip switch..

I also told ya I’m that bitch..

A free bird with strong roots

but I have wings for a reason..

Gotta walk in my new pirate boots

I don’t mean this as treason

It’s just like new songs, you can’t write the same one over and over

I guess if you should label me anything you can call me a rover

I just know I gotta move

Told ya’ll I’m forever in freestyle

Don’t be pissed

I flipped the switch

I am heading in another direction

Have no clue where this road will lead

Told ya’ll I’m forever in freestyle

Ships are ment to sail off in the sunset

I just got legs and I don’t know where I’m running to yet

I just know I gotta move..

Some things ain’t that easy to explain

I guess I just can’t handle anything that sounds like a chain

I said I never really plan anything

Told ya’ll I’m forever in freestyle

I just can’t deal with other people’s opinions on how I should live this one life I got

I just can’t fit it into a tiny box with a perfect facade

Something ‘bout that to me that just doesn’t feel brave

Now MY nature is calling and I gotta go!

I just know I gotta move

Told ya’ll I’m forever in freestyle

Don’t be pissed

I flipped the fucking switch

I’m heading in another direction

Have no clue where this road will lead

Told ya’ll I’m forever in freestyle

I am FOREVER IN FREESTYLE

🎵🦋🎵

I swear I’m not cold

I’m just a damn realist

I’m not going to grow old..

Annonsørinnhold

Netthandelen tømmer lageret: Siste sjanse på kvalitetsvarer med opptil 75% rabatt

That’s why I go through life as a hurricane

I don’t believe in anything

I have tried pretty much everything

We get told so many lies, my dear

But dying alone was never my worst fear..

You can drown in my eyes for a while

I can crack my soul wide open

I swear it’s never been truly broken

I can go all-in without making a single sacrifice

You can enter heaven between my legs I guess

but nothing lasts forever in this world we live in

I swear I’m not cold

I’m just a damn realist

I have seen too much maybe

Got so many ghosts from my past

and I know so well

each and every day could be my last

I don’t believe in anything

Except all that we got is this moment

Can you just be here with me while we both breathe

Look up from your screen

and I’ll come clean

When it comes down to it, none of us can go through life like a machine

You could go down on me and drown there

but I’d let you come up for air

I swear I can’t run dry

You could go all-in without making a single sacrifice

I learned so young that you can hold but you also gotta let go

and nothing lasts forever in this world we live in you know..

Nothing lasts forever

Forever..

Can we just have the moment

Everything is touch and go..

And nothing lasts forever you know

Sitter her på gjerdet

Gresset er vel grønt under snøen

Kan velge å stikke nå

Annonsørinnhold

Hoka på salg: Kupp årets modeller til nedsatt pris

Hoppe på en buss i andre retning

Hva tenker du på?

Alle mine svar blir bare gjetning

Jeg tenker faen også, dette var jeg ikke forberedt på

Tenker faen også, jeg kunne vært hos deg nå

Det er vinter, det er kaldt

Men jeg er varm overalt

Kroppen min vil bare en ting, hodet mitt vakler

Kan velge å stikke nå..

Kanskje, kanskje ikke..

Faen at du er så vakker

Livet er så merkelig, for litt siden ville jeg bare dø

Før var det hodet mitt, nå er det en annen del av meg (😉) som gjør meg sprø

Må bare få deg ut av systemet

(Kan du bare la meg få deg ut av systemet??)

Kan velge å stikke nå

Unngå hele problemet

Men jeg har vel fått deg på hjernen.

Og jeg tenker faen også, dette var jeg ikke forberedt på

Jeg kunne vært hos deg eller jeg kan stikke nå

Det er vinter, det er kaldt

Men jeg er varm overalt

Kroppen min vil bare en ting, hodet mitt vakler

Kan velge å stikke nå..

Kanskje, kanskje ikke..

Faen at du er så vakker

Jeg hater at jeg føler så intenst..

Gikk fra å være nummen til å brenne opp

Hva skal jeg finne på imens..?

Tenker bare på en annens kropp

»Your body is a wonderland»

I want to spoil you just because I can..

Åh faen, Sunniva: Stopp!

Men faen heller, dette var jeg ikke forberedt på

Jeg kunne vært hos deg eller jeg kan stikke nå

Det er vinter, det er kaldt

Men jeg er varm overalt

Kroppen min vil bare en ting, hodet mitt vakler

Kan velge å stikke nå..

Kanskje, kanskje ikke..

Faen at du er så vakker

Kanskje, kanskje ikke

Jeg sa: Kanskje, kanskje ikke..

Gah..

I need a fucking break

Can’t help it, I’m that bitch

and I don’t like to wait..

I gotta run with my feelings

This shit has been hard to deal with

You move too slow!

Life’s just too short, you gotta let me know..

I can’t live in the unknown

We talk about it, I crack jokes like I always do

Make you laugh, but this shit is serious

Lately the beast between my legs have been all kinds of delirious

Guess it’s time to cage her now

Fuck! I don’t want to!

Or I should look for a replacement

But who can do the stuff that you do..

I’m in my head a lot

When I’m with you I guess I’m not

That shit got me hooked

Now I’m seriously cooked

I should be searching somewhere else

but I don’t know where to look

I need a fucking break

Can’t help it, I’m that bitch

and I don’t like to wait

I don’t like to wait!

Life is so fucking short, don’t you know..?

We talk about it, I crack jokes like I always do

Make you laugh, but this shit is serious

Lately the beast between my legs have been all kinds of delirious

Guess it’s time to cage her now

Fuck! I don’t want to!

Or I should look for a replacement

But who can do the stuff that you do..

Who can do the stuff that you can do..?

Shit.

You’ll see this.. I know you will. Here’s a fucking lullaby for the real psychos 🔥

You fear death, don’t you..

Annonsørinnhold

Netthandelen tømmer lageret: Siste sjanse på kvalitetsvarer med opptil 75% rabatt

I fucking know you do!

You want my forgiveness more than anything

But you’ll never feel deeply enough to be sorry

Your time will come, old man

I won’t forget, and neither will death..

You can cheat in life, but you can’t cheat HER

And when they open the gates of Hell..

Because they will

You’ll just have to walk right in

and you will wait for me there..

If I can’t settle this in this life

I want the last battle to be among the flames!

I was a little angel, you bloody fool

But I’d rather grow horns than be your tool

Your wicked games, your evil tricks..

Could never mess with my core

I am not afraid to die, you bitch

I have died before!

You’re terrified because you know it all

Where I’ve been and where I can go..

You pushed me too far, and the edge scares you shitless..

And I really do believe that when death comes for you..

She’ll take you really, really slow

She’s MY angel, and she knows..

She knows!

And when they open the gates of Hell..

Because they will

You’ll just have to walk right in

and you will wait for me there..

If I can’t settle this in this life

I want the last battle to be among the flames..

Did you show me any mercy?

Did you ever give me a fair chance to fight back?

Empathy is the very thing you lack..

So expect nothing of it back!

So see ya in Hell..

They will open the gates wide open!

You’ll just have to walk right in..!

And if I’m not there to greet you, you just wait!

If I can’t settle this in THIS life

I want the last battle to be among the flames

Yeah, I want the last battle to be among the flames!!

Faen heller, jo flere ganger jeg prøver å slutte med de jævla sigarettene jo mer trang får jeg til å bare røyke meg i hjel.. «I didn’t smoke like a normal person, I smoked to die» sa Charlize Theron en gang og jeg er faktisk der er jeg redd. Hver gang jeg sprekker, blir jeg bare enda mer sulten på giften min, og hver gang jeg sprekker mister jeg mer og mer troen på at dette kommer jeg noen gang til å klare.

Men jeg VIL jo..

Annonsørinnhold

Oversikt over salgene: De beste kuppene nå

Suget er bare så intenst vanskelig å holde ut!! Det verste er det det gjør med meg psykisk, jeg blir jo helt grønnsak i hodet av det.. Æsj altså!

Men i morgen (alltid i morgen, hæh..) prøver jeg igjen.. Åh, gruer meg. Gruer meg mest av alt til sprekken jeg føler på meg at jeg kommer til å gå på igjen, følelsen av at denne avhengigheten overstyrer min frie vilje og sunne fornuft totalt, følelsen av at denne demonen klarer jeg ikke å bekjempe.

Har meldt meg på nytt røykesluttkurs via Helsehuset igjen da, men det starter ikke før i april og jeg vil slutte nåååå.. Kunne gitt så mye for aldri å ha begynt.

Uansett, her er en låt om dritten jeg driver med.

This damn habit of mine..

I thought I could just play with the fire

Didn’t understand the way my brain is wired

I got chained so fast..

I’m handcuffed to these things

And I can’t let go!

My brain screams this is what I want

Black smoke down my lungs

I crave it more than air sometimes

It’s so damn patethic..

It’s so fucking dumb

But this is the habit I can’t seem to quit

This damn habit of mine..

How can one single puff feel so sublime

When I get my fix I don’t give a damn

A damn that it’s just stealing my time

Yeah, I was young and dumb

Steered away from coke at parties and heroin on the streets

And I only planned for this habit to last a couple of weeks

Guess this poison hit my weak spot

It’s been 20 fucking (!) years and I can’t stop

I can’t stop!

This damn habit of mine..

How can one single puff feel so sublime

When I get my fix I don’t give a damn

A damn that it’s just stealing my time

This damn damn habit of mine

I know I’m running out of time..

I gotta let go

I have to do without

But when I get my fix.. Ah, shit!

That stuff really hits

And I always knew this is hard to quit..

But I honestly thought I was bigger than this

This damn habit of mine..

This damn damn damn habit of mine..

Ok, so I’m not gonna pretend life has been easy

But anything else would have been kinda boring and taught me very little

So I guess all in all I’m kinda grateful for the battles I have fought

Annonsørinnhold

Hoka på salg: Kupp årets modeller til nedsatt pris

Every hill I’ve climbed, every time I got knocked down..

I guess I kept the parts of me I’ve always loved the most after all..

Here’s to being forever in freestyle

Nothing set in stone and I’m fine with it!

Rolling with the punches and surfing the waves

Guess I wouldn’t have it any other way

I’ve doubted myself plenty

Thought I’d die before reaching twenty

There’s been enough challenges

I’ve had my share of enemies

Hell, I turned into my very worst one

But I’ve always kept my eyes on who I could become

I fucking love strong women, and I can finally say with confidence that I am one

Yeah, I am one!

Here’s to being forever in freestyle

Nothing set in stone and I’m fine with it!

I feel kinda bad for people always chasing the next big thing

I just roll with the punches and surf the waves

Guess I wouldn’t have it any other way

I wouldn’t have it any other way!

and you can call me whatever you like

Label me whatever you want..

Think of me as you please..

I’m not one for living on my knees

I’ve paved my way through many a hell

and some people really do not wish me well

But here I am, at 38- and I’m thriving

Ready to do so much more than merely just surviving

And the only plan I plan on sticking to is..

Forever in freestyle!

(I was just fishing for men.. Is this not how you do it..? Just kidding just kidding 😉)

You ruled this town back when I was born

24.12.87..

But these streets belongs to me now

Annonsørinnhold

Superkupp innen sport og friluft du gjør nå

and with cold wings I’m coming..

I think I know just where you hide out

I know exactly what and who you hide behind

Your damn title that you think makes you a god..

Your little flock of sheeps, fools that let you be in control because they can’t think for themselves..

But you have grown older

and I have only grown stronger

The dragon baby is not a baby anymore..

But I still breathe fire

So burn..

I know what it is you want from me

You’ll never have any of it

I know who you want me to be become..

I’ll rather die than fulfill your fantasy!

I am not your personal Jesus doomed to forgive and forget..

I am the cold blade pressed against your neck

I am not your little victim..

I am the weapon!

I am the weapon..!

You think I’ll ever be under your control?

You think I’ll ever let this go?

You think you’re so smart, but you could never figure me out

The way I always knew exactly what you are

Stone cold psychopath..

Welcome to the aftermath!

And while you have grown older

I have only grown stronger

and I still spit fire..

and I guess you have burned ever since

I know what you want from me

You’ll never ever have it

I know who you want me to become

I’ll die before I fulfill your fantasy!

and it’s killing you, I know it does..

I know I do!

I’m the one who haunts you, I’m the one keeping you up at night..

I am not your personal Jesus doomed to forgive and forget..

I am the cold blade pressed against your neck

I am not your little victim..

I am the weapon

I am the weapon..!

I still breathe fire..

and we both know you’ll burn ‘till you die..

I can publish these lyrics now that I’m OVER it, haha 😉 Our hearts can heal, my darlings!

Annonsørinnhold

Oversikt over salgene: De beste kuppene nå

Driving through the country-side, singing out the window

Life felt good in that moment

Blasting music, admiring your side-profile

God, you’re handsome when you smile

I’ll never see that smile again

I miss it so bad

You’re a part of my past

It’s one of those perfect memories

Now it just makes me so sad

Drinking on your porch

Doing my makeup in front of your mirror

My lingerie on your bedroom floor

Cruising down the highway on your bike, arms wrapped around your shoulders

Life felt good in those moments

But it’s all over now

I miss it so bad

It’s all part of my past now

Those perfect memories

Now they make me so sad

These days it’s like I wake up, never really waking up

Talk like a zombie, walk like a zombie-

but my head is constantly racing

Suicidal, dark thoughts fire away

How could I not surrender?

I wish it hadn’t ended this way between us..

I wish none of this had happened..

But it did, gotta roll with the punches

You were a little break from battlefield life

Then you broke my heart a little bit

(Yeah it’s true, you did)

I miss it so bad

It’s all part of my past now

Those perfect memories

Now they make me so sad

Now they just make me sad..

Jeg trodde jeg var fastlåst.

Skvist mellom liv og død- half life..

Jeg trodde ikke det fantes noen vei ut.

Annonsørinnhold

Superkupp innen sport og friluft du gjør nå

Jeg var overbevist om at jeg kom til å dø snart.

Jeg ville dø- snart.

Men noen små grep kan utgjøre all verdens forskjell.

Den største forskjellen har nok vært å svare på alle ubesvarte anrop og uåpnede meldinger. Finne ut at det er gode mennesker i livet mitt som bare vil meg vel, som viser meg raushet, aksept og forståelse og tar i mot meg med åpne armer.

Til familen og vennene mine- En million ganger takk for alt dere holder ut med meg. Hvor tålmodige dere er. Hvor mye av meg dere klarer å tåle, hvor mye dere tilgir, hvor mye dere forstår.

Depresjonen gir meg skylapper, jeg tenker at jeg er alene i denne verden, alene og verdiløs, at ingen er glad i meg, jeg ser for meg en begravelse som ingen gidder å gå i. Man kan bli både blind, stum og døv av en depresjon, og jeg har vært alt det.

Men jeg er ute av det nå, jeg tror jeg kan si det med sikkerhet. Nå vil jeg bare være her med dere. Feire jul og nytt år, være tilstede, le og tøyse (takk gud, jeg har fortsatt humor!), være den beste versjonen av meg selv før livet smeller noe nytt i trynet på meg.. For jeg vet jo at det vil skje.

Derfor er tiden min så ekstra dyrebar. Jeg må jobbe med å la de depressive periodene bli så korte som mulig, for der VET jeg jo egentlig alle verktøyene som kan brukes..

Forever a work in progress, huh. Jeg ville bare si at akkurat nå er jeg tilfreds, ja jeg er lykkelig faktisk. Herregud så rart det føles å endelig si det høyt! Men så JÆVLIG deilig også.

Jeg er så takknemlig.
Tror bare jeg avslutter med et smil, jeg..