Sunniva Creative soul with a crazy twist

This is a metal-song, written for a metal-band- and the lyrics are probably NOT to your liking if you are religious… Just a heads-up! I don’t want to disrespect anyone, but I also believe in 100% creative freedom. Peace!

 

 

 

Try speaking in tongues

Scream from the top of your lungs

No one will listen

No one will answer

All the gods are dead

No help will ever come

We have always been alone

 

I was a child when I tried praying like you taught me

I learned then that your god does not answer

Not even when in dire need

I think that’s when I lost faith

I can’t worship a god that doesn’t hear a child’s plead

God did not answer me then and I still wait

I have yet to see proof in this messed up world

that there is in fact a god who leads

All I see is people benefiting, never paying

from and for their evil deeds

 

So try speaking in tongues

Or screaming from the top of your lungs

No one will listen

No one will answer

All the gods are dead

No help will ever come

We have to face it

We have always been alone

 

It doesn’t matter what you believe, it matters how you live

What matters the most is what you take, and what you have to give

In the end, heaven will not hear you knock

We’re not heading towards the sky

We are marching towards Ragnarok

 

Look in the mirror, do you see a sinner too?

You read the news, you see the proof, you know the evil that we do

Our history is written in blood

We’re so divided, was there ever any form of brotherhood?

We have plenty of religions, but do they do us any good?

Burn in hell, jihad, or pray pray pray

But look at the world, somewhere we completely lost our way

You tell me to turn to god, but I can’t hear a word of what he has to say

The most potent language possessed by man is violence

YET FROM GOD THERE IS ONLY SILENCE!

 

It doesn’t matter what you believe, it matters how you live

What matters the most is what you take and what you have to give

In the end, heaven will not hear you knock

We’re not heading for the sky

We are marching towards Ragnarok!

 

No help will ever come!

We have always been alone!

So try speaking in tongues

Or scream from the top of your lungs

It doesn’t matter what you believe, what matters is how you live

What matters the most is what you take, and what you have to give

In the end, heaven will still not hear you knock

None of us are heading for the sky

We’re all marching towards Ragnarok

 

 

When you need a f’ing therapist badly, but all you got is an ‘effing blog 😇 Bear with me!

 

 

 

Lately every day I’ve been waking up shaking

Just getting outta bed is fucking painstaking

I’m growing old, man- but I ain’t getting wiser

People think I’m doing alright but honestly I just got better at faking

 

There’s gotta be more to life

Than this constant twisting and turning the knife

in these old bloody wounds, why can’t I let them heal?

Why is it that at fucking 36

I am still terrified of what I feel?

There’s gotta be, gotta be- more to life than this

But to be honest I don’t even know what it is that I miss

 

Argh, I should figure shit out

Lately every day I live through feels wasted

There’s all these flavours to life that I have yet not tasted

I stick to poison that just leaves a bitter taste in my mouth

I tell myself I can grow despite this drought

I tell myself I can do better but all I feel is doubt

 

There’s gotta be more to life

Than this constant twisting and turning the knife

in the old bloody wounds, why can’t I let them heal?

Why is it that at fucking 36

I still question what is real?

There’s gotta be, gotta be more to life than this

It frustrates me that I don’t even know what I miss

 

I see all these people on socials, they look so damn happy

But what they have, that’s not what I want

There’s gotta be more to life

than motherhood and being a wife

I can’t have kids, I know for sure I’d just fuck ’em up

Can’t hold down a job

and I can’t have a relationship that goes beyond a temporary hookup

I’m 100% toxic, that’s cyanide in my cup

I’m pure poison, can’t help it so bottoms up

 

Tell me, is there more to life?

Sometimes I’m not sure who’s hand that’s twisting the knife

All I know, these old bloody wounds they won’t heal

My nerves ain’t exactly forged in steel

At 36 they still snap like overstrung strings

At 36 I still got issues with the smallest of things

There’s gotta be, gotta be more to life than this

36 years of searching, and I still don’t know what I miss

 

 

There’s gotta be more to life

There’s gotta be more to life!

Than the rusty blade of that fucking knife..

There’s gotta be more, more to life than this

36 years, I just wish I knew what I miss..

I wish I knew what exactly I miss

36 years, I still can’t answer this

 

 

Har endelig samlet opp nok outfits til å gjøre dette innlegget 😅 Urutinert, jeg? Alltid. Ellers kjenner jeg at jeg er litt lei vinter nå altså.. Eller kanskje jeg bare er lei av meg selv..? Det er så mye jeg vil endre på, og jeg skulle helst ha gjort det med ÉN gang- men det klarer jeg jo ikke. Så jeg går rundt med en solid dose frustrasjon, og føler litt at jeg mislykkes hver dag omtrent. Jeg vet bare at jeg vil ha mer ut av livet enn jeg får til akkurat nå, og jeg føler at tiden går bare fortere og fortere jo eldre jeg blir, så jeg begynner å få en klaustrofobisk følelse av at det haster; hvis jeg skal bli det mennesket jeg vil være..  Og så har du tvilen da, om jeg i det hele tatt har det som kreves for å klare det. Av og til lurer jeg seriøst på om jeg utvikler meg i det hele tatt, gjennom dette livet jeg snubler og tryner og vakler meg igjennom.

 

Og der klarte jeg jammen meg å gjøre nok et overfladisk innlegg mørkt og dystert, uuups.. Må vel sies å være min spesialitet 🙄

 

 

 

 

Dette innlegget er forresten inspirert av Vogue’s youtube-serie 7 days, 7 looks. Anbefales hvis du vil se bedre og mer eksklusive antrekk enn det jeg har å by på, hehe.. 😇 Skal helt ærlig innrømme at jeg har omtrent falt helt av lasset når det kommer til hva som er on trend at the moment. Ikke at jeg noen gang har vært spesielt opptatt av trender, i hvert fall å følge dem- men jeg hadde i det minste en viss idé om hva som var in og hva som var ut. Nå klarer jeg ikke å holde oversikt lenger. Et sikkert tegn på at jeg har blitt gammel kanskje? 😅 Eneste jeg vet er at jeg burde brenne skinny jeansene mine, men det NEKTER jeg. Så kanskje jeg bare skal være takknemlig for at jeg ikke vet om alle de andre mote-syndene jeg begår 😅

 

God nesten-helg da folkens 🤗

Maybe we’ll never meet again

Oh, to be honest I kinda hope so

You’ve been more of a foe than a friend

I have loved and I have hated you

Do you even feel anything at all?

Only you would know

 

I can still not tell

If you ever meant me any well

All I know is

It’s time to break the spell

It’s time to break the spell

‘Cuz keeping you in my mind is the very thing that’s

keeping me in hell..

 

Maybe we were never meant to cross paths

I don’t believe that everything happens for a reason

I believe this world is ruled by chaos

Just like it rules my mind

and nothing is ever black or white

but nothing can ever make what happened between us right

Now I ask myself if I feel anything at all

All I know is..

 

I can still not tell

If you ever meant me any well

All I know, all I know is..

It’s time to break the spell

It’s time to break the spell

‘Cuz keeping you in my mind is the very thing that’s

keeping me in hell

 

Yeah, all I know, all I know is

There’s questions that’ll never be answered

and I can’t wait for a grave to bury them in

I can’t fucking wait for death to silence my mind

Until then I’m left with wishing

for a peace of mind I suspect might just be impossible to find

 

‘Cuz I can still not tell

If you ever meant me any well

All I know, all I know is!

It’s time to break the spell

It’s time to break the spell!

‘Cuz keeping you in my mind is the very thing that’s..

It’s the very thing!

That’s keeping me in hell

 

 

Gratulerer med morsdagen, alle mødre der ute! Spesielt til min mama bear ❤️

 

 

You were the one that got all my anger and rage

I feel so bad now, for how difficult I was through every damn stage

I couldn’t always see

How much you gave to me

But you’re the one that has always been there

You’re the one that always had to hold it all together

and I’m so done with anger now

I just want to love you forever

 

Ice queen, my ice queen

Now I see your courage and strength

Ice queen, my ice queen

Now I see the hand you were dealt

Ice queen, my ice queen

Now I understand why you couldn’t melt

 

Life was never easy on you, but you never complained

You were always so strong, I couldn’t see you were drained

You suffered in silence, you never shared

and still to everyone else, it was always you who cared

When I think of strong women, you’re my number one

You’re such an inspiration to who I want to become

 

Ice queen, my ice queen

Now I see your courage and strength

Ice queen, my ice queen

Now I see the hand you were dealt

Ice queen, my ice queen

Now I understand why you couldn’t melt

 

 

 

There’s something about the light and the sounds of the day

Helps me keep my feelings at bay

I tell myself I’m doing okay

Then comes the inevitable night

and with the darkness I am led astray

Here’s the words I just can’t say..

 

Oh, it’s the midnight blues

and I am so tired of walking in my shoes

All the terrors I have lived through, they play on repeat

And I am a child again, pitted against forces I just can’t defeat

My bones are trembling, I feel so weak

There’s crimes in my past of which I just can’t speak

and I’m so tired of walking in these shoes

It’s that time of the night again

It’s the midnight blues

 

There’s a sense of normalcy during the day

Helps me keep all the monsters at bay

and I can tell myself I’m doing okay

But every day must surrender to night

and then I am no longer doing alright

This is my eternal battle that I must fight

 

Oh, it’s the midnight blues

and I am so tired of walking in my shoes

All the terrors I have lived through, they play on repeat

And I am a child again, pitted against forces I just can’t defeat

My bones are trembling, I feel so weak

There’s crimes in my past of which I just can’t speak

and I’m so tired of walking in these shoes

It’s that time of the night again

It’s the midnight blues

 

Little girl, I don’t want to be a little girl again

and I just want to feel safe in this world again

I want to kick off my shoes

and escape all these feelings,

these midnight blues

It’d night again, I lose all my grown-up tools

I go back in time again when darkness rules

 

Oh it’s the midnight blues

It’s the midnight blues

Are these flashbacks something I somehow choose?

What is it about the night that sets me up to lose?

I just call it the midnight blues

Oh, it’s the midnight blues

and I am so damn tired

of walking in these shoes

 

I’m not asking you to understand

I’m not begging you to hold my hand

It’s just that right now I am not okay

and this is just my lullaby to myself

made from the words I cannot say

 

It’s my midnight blues

It’s just my midnight blues

 

I should have stayed away

I wish we’d never met

It’s so damn easy, walking down memory lane

It’s so goddamn hard to forget

 

You are the brightest star

I can only watch you from afar

Every night I wonder where you are

Can’t forget that angelic/demonic face

Or your angelic/demonic ways

Heart of the scorpion, the brightest shining star

You are beautiful and terrible, fascinating and bizarre

 

I have to burn the pages of you

written in my history

You are not my destiny

If anything, you’ll be the death of me

 

You are the brightest star

I can only watch you from afar

Every night I wonder where you are

Can’t forget that angelic/demonic face

Or your angelic/demonic ways

Heart of the scorpion, the brightest shining star

You are beautiful and terrible, fascinating and bizarre

 

I need you light years away

I can’t make sense of anything you say

I need you light years away..

I don’t understand the rules of the wicked games that you play

Antares..

I need to be light years away from you!

 

‘Cuz you are the brightest star

I can only watch you from afar

Every night I wonder where you are

Can’t forget that angelic/demonic face

Or your angelic/demonic ways

Heart of the scorpion, the brightest shining star

How I feel about you is beautiful and terrible, fascinating and bizarre

 

 

21 years

I can’t even count the tears

I wish I could cry ‘em with you

like we used to

Do you live on in me?

I’m not half the human you were

So I question sometimes if you do

 

I was your daughter

Then I had to bury you

That ment burying a part of me too

Now I have to live with the sadness

and I have to deal with my own madness..

Getting lost in the blackness

Now I am the daughter of darkness

 

21 years, can’t believe it’s been 21 years

Sometimes it feels like I’m the only one who still cares

I know it isn’t so

I’m just the only one that feels this level of guilt

That’s why I can’t let go

 

I was your daughter

Then I had to bury you

That ment burying a part of me too

Now I have to live with the sadness

and deal with my own madness

Getting lost in the blackness

Now I am the daughter of darkness

 

21 years, it’s been 21 years

Ever since then, I’ve felt so much older than my peers

Daddy, I’m so worn out by the grief

I need you to come back to life and forgive me

But daddy, I know you can’t

I have to face it, there is no relief

 

I was your daughter

Then I had to bury you

That ment I had to bury a part of me too

Now I have to live with the sadness

and deal with my own madness

Getting lost in the blackness

I was your daughter..

Now I am the daughter of darkness

I am the daughter of darkness..

 

I had a boyfriend, he used to say

“If you ever walk away

I’ll kill you in cold blood”

When I broke up with him, I wondered

is this the last thing I’ll ever do?

It ended well for me

It did not end well for you

 

Seems it’s always something in the news

A frightening reminder

Memento mori, but

Real love should never end that gory

It’s another day

It’s another Norwegian horror story

 

It started out so sweet

But the charming prince sometimes turn into a creep

She starts looking over her shoulder

For every inch she moves away, he turns colder and colder

Now she’s asking the cops

Hoping they’ll do what it takes to make him stop

They shrug, says it’s not that serious

Then they discover her corpse

No one else finds it mysterious..

 

Now she’s all over the news

A frightening reminder

Memento mori, but..

Love should never end that gory

It’s another day

It’s another Norwegian horror story

 

We don’t like to talk about it

But maybe we have to

Look the other way

Pretend it never happens

Or ask what can we as society do

 

Seems it’s always something on the news

A frightening reminder

It could be you, it could be me

Memento mori, but..

Love should never end that gory

It’s another day, another Norwegian horror story

 

 

 

Seemed like such a good idea

I knew one thing for sure, you could handle all of me

Even the messed up parts not everyone can see

I don’t know anymore, if it was brave

or just plain stupid

Should I blame it on myself

Or can I blame it on Cupid

 

Perfect on paper, looked so perfect on paper

but..

I can’t do love as a faker

Perfect on paper,

but..

I’m no good at pretending

Perfect on paper,

but..

That’s also where it’s ending

 

Everyone said it; «You two make sense»

For so long I was on the fence

Then I decided to just dive right in

It felt kinda brave

Now it just feels stupid

I can only blame myself

I don’t have any faith in Cupid

 

Perfect on paper, looked so perfect on paper

but..

I can’t do love as a faker

Perfect on paper,

but..

I’m no good at pretending

Perfect on paper,

but..

That’s also where it’s ending

 

So here we are

We gave it a go, gave it all we got

It ended with a scar

Was it brave,

Was it stupid?

What the fuck do I even know, about this love-shit!

You’ll have to ask Cupid

 

Perfect on paper, looked so perfect on paper

but..

I can’t do love as a faker

Perfect on paper,

but..

I’m no good at pretending

Perfect on paper,

but..

That’s also where it’s ending