Madness looked me dead in the eye, and asked «What do you wish for the most?» and I answered «The truth» and madness said «Well, you can have it if you stay here».

I was lied to, and I should have known, because I’ve been lied to too many times for me to even keep a score.

Annonsørinnhold

Vårens kuleste sneakers til henne

You lied, they lied, hell even I lie to myself from time to time, so what’s there to even be mad about.

I press on my mind to feed me answers, but there is an imagination in there, fuelled by desire and longing, and man does that fuck me up if I keep the machinery going.

And when I’m crazy that’s all I do.

And it feels good because I can believe anything, and believe anything I do. I see back and forth, and I see many things that never was, never will be. But in my mind it is, and it’s a beautiful and terrible web of lies I made, in order to.. Survive, I guess.

But it is not REAL. And after years of living like a spider (or maybe I’m more of the fly, the prey) there’s one thing I’ve realised and that is that I want what is real. No matter how dark this ‘real’ may be- that’s what I want. That’s all I want.

I wobble around in madness looking for something that just is not ment for me. The glorious ‘truth’ will not unfold no matter how long I stay there, within the walls of madness..

It’s a lost cause.

I wanted the truth so I could have some form of justice, but now I have to face the fact that Life. Is. Unfair.

So I take my broken mind and I look madness dead in the eye right back and I swear to it «I am more than merely just you» and I go back to living in the real world.

Please let me stay here as long as possible. That’s all I want.