It’s a hard job, being human

I know I can do better

I know I can get further than this

I just don’t always know what moves to make

And I have this feeling I can not shake

What is it going to take

I’ve given my all before and I ended up with nothing

But I will keep trying

 

It’s a hard job, being human

But I try

I fail

and I get up and try again

 

I know you think I’m a loser

I know you can’t see the scars

You weren’t there all those times when life got brutal

You don’t know how many times I’ve tried, but it was futile

And I don’t need you to cheer me on

Or even to believe in me

I have a fire burning somewhere deep inside

It’s me never giving up on myself that is keeping me alive 

 

It’s a hard job, being human

But I try

I fail

and I get up and try again

 

The last words I’ll waste on you

Tell me what is on your agenda

Is it lust or hate when your eyes go black

I said “I love you”

Now I’m taking it back

I have been so fucking brave for you

But courage is a thing you lack

And not a single word you’ve spoken was true

Yet after all the shit you’ve put me through

I was still dumb enough to be nice to you

And there was this part of me defending your actions

But why should I defend someone who left me in chains

You say I can trust you, but you’re not who you claim

The things I’ve done for you, now I see you’d never do the same

I am no longer playing a part in your fucked up game

Whatever it is you want from me, you’re not gonna get

And maybe I did love you, but you lost my respect

So I’m just walking out the door

Leaving you behind

Maybe you just don’t get it but

damn it you raped my bloody mind

I could never look at you and smile again

Who needs an enemy who’s disguised as a friend

A devil with a fucking halo

Or just an angel with a rotten heart

Don’t look my way again, you’ve played your part

In this broken, bloody history of mine

Don’t come for me when I’m down

If you are my saviour I’d rather drown

Don’t act like my hero

From now I’ll be my own

 

From now I’ll be my own.

 

 

 

 

 

Break these chains

Listen

How many times are you gonna whip your skin

and look within for the original sin

Your search for answers only lead to madness

Stop repeating the fucking pattern

It’s time for new thoughts

It’s time for action

You live, live harder!

And if you’re gonna do all this thinking,

it’s about time you think smarter!

 

You can, you will, you must

When all is said and done, you only got yourself to trust

Life sometimes hurts, make it worth the cost

It’s time to take back everything you’ve lost

You can!

And you will!

It’s time to be your own damn hero,

you gotta save yourself girl

 

Listen

Your heart is bruised, but it’s still beating

You gotta deal with the pain, there’s no cheating

But you can let yourself evolve from it

Push through the dark times, just don’t quit

Break these chains

Rebuild yourself, you can and will get better

Life’s gonna smack you in the face again eventually,

it’s just the way it is 

So make it worth it,

find a way to benefit from this!

 

You can!

And you will!

It’s time to be your own damn hero,

you gotta save yourself girl

Gotta break these chains

and find your place in this world 

 

 

Soldier of life

 

Two steps forward, ten steps back

Courage and wisdom are things that I lack

And my self respect is dead and gone

Life fucking hurts, I’m broken and bruised to the bone

So fucking insecure..

I hate myself

Yeah, I hate myself..

but I love you more

 

 

I can’t do this!

If I die, will you let me stay asleep?

I can’t do this..

I’m too scared to walk out the door

If I die, don’t let me come back to life

Sometimes I think I’ve been here before

 

 

I feel too much

I think too damn loud

I love my mama but

I can’t find a way to make her proud

I go crazy either way

Sad, happy, here she goes again

Call the cops, reel me in

I try so hard but I just can not win

And it’s taking its toll

How can I be this immature, and yet feel so old..

 

 

I don’t want to!

Open my eyes to another day

My fucking haunted head, always leading me astray

Why, god, why am I made this way??

Shut me off, kill me now

Or let me live, just tell me how

Just tell me HOW

 

I can’t do this…

 

Get your shit together

Stitch up your broken pieces

and keep moving

Your head is weak, so your heart must be strong

You know who you want to become

Get out of your foxhole, soldier

You’re still alive and the war ain’t over

Keep moving!

 

 

I just don’t

Just don’t want to..

Can’t see that I’m worthy

To keep fighting for

If I could believe in myself the way I believe in you

I’m so sorry for the shit I put you through

And still you stand by my side

Making it so damn hard to leave it all behind

If only I could keep you, but leave myself..

If only I could handle this life without losing my mind

I’m not cut out for this hellride

And I’m not worthy of your love

But I love you back ten times for it

And I’ll try

For you

If you keep believing in me

Maybe someday I can too

 

Keep moving soldier!

You’re still alive

and the war ain’t over

I can and will do this

I’m broken and bruised to the bone

But I have your love and with you I belong

I get so fucking lost sometimes,

but I always find my way back home

And if you can live with me being like this..

I owe it to you to be just as strong.

 

Daughter! Sister! Soldier of life!

My head is weak, and my heart  might be too..

But if I can, I will make it strong- for you.

I’ll snap back from the insanity

Yeah, I’ll keep moving forward- I’ll do it for my family

I can’t do it for me, but I will try for my family.

Because you are my why.

You are the best part of me

Soldier on

Take control

Never a victim, always a warrior

Keep your head high

Aim for the goal

🎵

Push forward

Don’t look back

Turn your weakness into strenght

Know just where to attack

🎵

Ride off the storm

Gather strenght in the calm

If you fall get up

Soldier on

🎵

If you reach bottom the only way is up

If you can’t walk, then crawl

If the fire burns out rekindle the flame

Be the beast no one can tame

🎵

Get back up

Wipe the blood from your mouth

When all goes south..

Soldier on!

🎵

You got no one to cheer you on?
You feel like you do not belong?
Look at yourself in the mirror
Look how far you have come
You could have been in a grave by now
Yeah, fucked up some times but the past is gone
You’re still here

Today is the day
Soldier ON!

Red dead redemption

Pour me another drink

So I can drown out what I think

Don’t ask me how I feel

I’m scared my words will make it real

🎵

I’m terrified

For this life

Can’t decide

Suicide doesn’t seem so bad right now

I’m living on death row

I can barely remember my own name

I’m not cut out for this game

🎵

Darkness reigns

I can’t restrain

My mind is always going backwards

Please pause my brain

🎵

But there’s a voice whispering

at the back of my head

And I’m still not dead

I still have time

And I know I can make my life.. mine

🎵

It’s gonna get better

I’m determined to turn the table

Back to the drawing board

I’m not using the last resort

I’ll reinvent myself

Move up from the bottom shelf

Time to wipe the slate

I am the master of my own fate

and it’s not too late

🎵

I’ll break free from my chains

Bury my burden

So my mama won’t have to bury me

I’ll set myself free

I’ll find the key

I’ll be whoever I want to be

No, life ain’t done with me

Code red

Hold meg i hånda

Før meg gjennom dødens dal

Jeg er ikke religiøs

Jeg trenger bare en hjelpende hånd

akkurat nå

Mens stormen raser mellom ørene mine

Og det fryser til is mellom ribbeina mine

🌑

Ikke se ned på meg

Møt blikket mitt heller

Jeg tåler å lese skuffelsen i øynene dine

Jeg tåler alt, bare jeg blir konfrontert med det

Ikke synes synd på meg bak ryggen min

🌑

Ikke gå fra meg

Her på bunnen av ingenting

Jeg er ikke redd

Jeg føler ikke så mye lenger, for å være ærlig

Akkurat dét burde kanskje skremme meg

Men man blir vandt til det meste

Eller kanskje bare nummen

🌑

Ikke bli av sympati

Må du gå, så må du gå

Jeg tåler å høre skrittene dine bort fra meg

Jeg tåler alt, bare jeg blir konfrontert med det

Og for å være ærlig

Burde noen andre leve i mitt sted

For jeg har gitt opp håpet

Kanskje da vil jeg få fred

🌑

Junkie

It's a substitute

It's self medication

It makes me feel cheap and hollow

And I hate you for stringing me along

Making me desperate for leftovers

🌑

Love me, love me, love me

🌑

It’s heroin in my veins

The lust I feel between my thighs

Making me feel dirty in a bad way

In dire need of just one more hit

🌑

Leave me, leave me, leave me

🌑

I swear each time you walk out that door

My heart drops all the way to the floor

and every time I think this is the last time

Then you’re knocking on the door again

and I greet you with open legs

Fuck me..

A string of words I put together

I sometimes dream that we are together

Even if I promised myself I wouldn’t

and I’m aware I really shouldn’t

To give imagination free wings

is to jeopardize my sanity

🌑

And still

Still it feels so right

To wish you’d company me in the night

For me to give you my all

Even if it means risking to fall

and break every damn bone in my body

🌑

Shatter my mind

Into a thousand pieces

Until I’m left clueless

Broken

Lost

🌑

And yet

If someone would ask

I’d tell ‘em

It was worth it..

Empty words

Life is this

weird and scary thing

with its up and downs

Calm and storm

Life and death

🌑

I wish I knew

how to grab it with both hands

Shape it to the form I’d like

Live the way I want

🌑

No room for joy it seems

Only misery exist within my skull

Only hatred flows in my veins

I loathe the person looking back at me in the mirror

🌑

If I could switch places with you

Wherever you may be

I would happily grant you to live in my place

I have no use for it

My life is a cage

and only death will set me free

🌑

Excuse me for being too scared

For taking my time

I will eventually join you

There at the other side

Wherever you may be

I’m just asking you this last favour

Take my breath and set me free