We don’t hug much in this family

Ya’ll seem so damn successful

Me, I’m just parked in this corner

Fighting for my sanity

 

(I’m sad to say: It’s such a losing game

I can do a lot, but I can’t stay sane)

 

Am I lonely?

If so, I’m so used to it, it’s kinda comfortable

Tell myself I can be my one and only

The sound of silence isn’t uncomfortable

But late at night, that’s when I feel it

I need someone to hold me, that’s when I need it

 

So can you..

Hold me, hold me harder

I can’t be on my side when the darkness creeps under my skin,

and seeps into my mind

So can you..

Hold me, hold me harder

‘Cuz it’s when I need myself the most, I am impossible to find

 

We don’t hype each other up

We don’t talk much at all

I have all your numbers in my phone-list

But it rarely seems like the right move to call

 

When did we become like this?

Have we always been this alien

Is there any love left?

Why is it that when I embrace you

It feels like some kind of theft?

 

Are we lonely?

If so, we’re so used to it, it’s kinda comfortable

Tell ourselves we can be our one and only

The sound of silence isn’t uncomfortable

But late at night, do you ever feel it?

Do you need someone to hold you, is that when you need it?

 

So can I..

Hold you, hold you harder

Can you be on your side when darkness creeps under your skin,

and seeps into your mind?

So can I..

Hold you, hold you harder

I don’t know about you, but for me

It’s always when I need myself the most, I am impossible to find

 

So can I

Hold you, hold you harder

Can you..

Hold me, hold me harder

 

 

Ti år har gått, du er fortsatt like fin.

Ti år har gått og jeg tenker på deg fortsatt

Ti år, og du er fortsatt ikke min

Og jeg skjønner jo at jeg er mer enn bare litt betatt

Ti jævla lange år.. Det finnes ikke tvil:

Jeg er faen meg besatt

 

Faen ta deg

Og faen ta meg å’

Du var kanskje min en gang

Men du blir ikke min igjen nå

 

Noen ganger vil jeg spyle livet mitt ned i dass

Har vandra hele byen rundt men ingen kan ta din plass

Og alle sier «Du kommer over det»

Men nøyaktig hvor lang tid det tar er det ingen som er synsk nok til å se

 

Og du har egentlig sagt ditt

Og med de orda har du røska ut det jævla hjertet mitt

Og jeg skjønner jo at jeg har solgt meg selv på billigsalg

Det er synd vi er født med frie valg..

 

Faen ta deg

Og faen ta meg å’

Du var kanskje min en gang

Men du blir ikke min igjen nå

 

Jeg skjønner meg ikke på det her
Hvorfor kan jeg ikke bare viske deg ut med viskelær?!

Og hvorfor måtte du si at du fortsatt er singel og at du ikke har fått barn

Når vi begge vet at du ikke kommer til å svømme rett inn i mitt loslitte garn?

 

Faen ta deg

Og faen ta meg å’

Du var kanskje min en gang

Men du blir ikke min igjen nå

 

For jeg er syk i hodet

Og har gift i sjelen og gift i blodet

Og du er litt for hel ved

Også er du alltid der på feil tid, og feil sted

(FAEN!)

De sier smaken er som baken

Men hvorfor blir jeg aldri lei?

Og hvorfor, etter ti forbanna år

Drømmer jeg fortsatt om å se deg naken?

(Faen!!)

 

Så..

Faen ta deg

Og faen ta meg å’

Du var kanskje min en gang

Men du blir ikke min igjen nå

Du blir ikke min igjen nå

 

 

I’ll be the first to admit it

Life ain’t always peachy

It can range from heaven to hell
and I’ll be the first one to admit

that living ain’t always easy

 

But you and I, we made it this far

And we are still here

So cheers to us, and let’s..

 

Turn the pain into music

It’s kinda worth it if you can use it

So sing with me

Sing with me!

We are still here

It counts for something

and maybe, just maybe

Hoping against hope, maybe

That life might give us a second chance

So let’s open that door

And welcome this New year

Welcome, 2024

 

I’ll be the first to admit

The year that went by,

I never quite made it

And I’ll confess

I’ve been quite the mess

 

But you and I, we made it this far

and we’re still standing

So cheers to us, and let’s..

 

Turn the pain into music

It’s kinda worth it if you can use it

So sing with me

Sing with me!

We are still here

It counts for something

and maybe, just maybe

Hoping against hope, maybe

Life might give us a second chance

So let’s open that door

And welcome this New year

Welcome, 2024!

 

Cheers to us ❤️

 

With this song, I’m wishing all of you a happy New Year 🤗 In 2024, let’s live more, laugh more, love more.. No matter what obstacles life throws us! 👊🏼

 

Why does it make me so sad

Why does it leave me so hollow

Why does it hurt me so bad

I know I won’t want to wake up tomorrow

 

This is all I got

This is all I have

and it is..

Not the way I wanted it to be

This wall of all the words left unsaid

This wall we somehow built in silence

It’s separating you from me

 

and I miss you, I miss you, I miss you

Like I miss the one I used to be

The one you might have loved

 

Why do we spend so much time in the same room

Staring down on these stupid screens

Living empty, shallow lives

We say we love each other but I sometimes wonder

if we even know what that truly means

 

and I picture you in my funeral

and I figure you’d feel relief

I hope that’s how it plays out

I don’t want to cause you any more grief

 

Well, for now I’m still alive

Why does it make me so damn sad

Why does it leave me so hollow

I’m missing something that I never had

Maybe that’s why..

I don’t wanna wake up tomorrow

 

This is all I got

This is all I have

and this is..

Oh, It’s so not the way I wanted it to be

The wall of all the words left unsaid

This wall we somehow built with silence

Now it feels like the wall is inside of me

 

and I miss you, I miss you, I miss you

Just like I miss the one I used to be

The one you might have loved

(Did you though..?)

 

Please don’t come to my funeral

Just smile and sigh with relief

I totally understand

After all, all I ever did was cause you grief

 

Does it look picture perfect from the outside?

Well, it ain’t exactly what it seems

Just like saying «I love you»

Not really knowing what that means

 

and it makes me so sad

and it leaves me so hollow

and it hurts so bad

that I don’t want to wake up tomorrow

I don’t want to wake up tomorrow

 

 

 

 

You’re so sweet

Don’t lose that innocence

The way you speak your feelings without filter, no pretending, no playing games

I’m such a heartless bitch..

Watching this go up in flames

 

I just want to feel it

I wish I could make it real

I want us to have it

I just cannot deal

 

The path came to a dead end

Can I go back to just being your friend

I wish it could have worked out

Wish we could’ve worked out

‘cuz I’d love to have a good thing going for me

But love is so much harder than they make it out to be..

Or maybe it’s just this hard because I am.. Me

 

You’re so beautiful

All the way to your bones

Don’t lose that light in your eyes

But maybe you should have had a closer look at me..

I am not an angel, babe

I might just be the very devil in disguise

 

I, I just want to feel it!

and I, I wish we could make it real

I wish I had a healthy heart

But I can’t seem to heal

 

You said you don’t want to hurt me ever

And neither do I, but it seems hurt is all I got to give

God, this is so depressing

So is the miserable life that I live

 

I wanted so bad to be the one you think you want

I really did try

It just seems like I am destined to fuck up

Love is so much harder than they make it up to be

(At least to me, at least to me..)

I really did try..

Love is so hard, and I don’t know why

 

I just wanted to feel it

And I wish, I wish we could make it real

Love, it’s so easy to want it

But why is it so damn hard to feel

 

I’m so sorry..

This is me talking with no filter, no pretending, no playing games

God, I am such a heartless bitch

(Still it hurts me so..)

Watching this go up in flames

 

 

 

 

(I’m ashamed to say this song pretty much sums up my summer of ‘23.. Hope everyone else can NOT relate to my shit-fest!)

 

He wants to know what I’m thinking

I don’t say a word

Well, truth is I am shipwrecked and I’m sinking

My head goes SOS, SOS

but I don’t wanna be saved, no..

Am I suicidal? Am I hopeless? Yes..

 

And I know, I’m such a bummer

It’s just another, another one for the books

Just another suicidal, suicidal summer

 

It’s so funny hah

I can’t curb my hysteria

I fear life itself

and still I can’t seem to kill myself

All I can say now is

All I can feel now is

I’m so so  sorry!

My head goes SOS, SOS

But I don’t wanna be saved, no

Am I suicidal? Yes

 

And I know, I’m such a bummer

It’s just another, another one for the books

Just another suicidal, suicidal summer

 

Yeah, I know

You left me long ago

You cut the strings, torn off like a butterfly’s wings

and to be honest, I don’t care anymore

We are separated by so much more than just locked doors

You live on in a world I left

What can I say now

All I can feel is

I’m so so sorry..

 

So here’s to you

Keep on living, won’t you

Don’t feel bad, I know I hurt too much to hold on to

I am sorry for all the things that madness and sadness made me do

and most of all for how all of this separated me from you

 

These are the words I can’t say to your face

You don’t want to know what I’m thinking

All you need to know is, I was shipwrecked and sinking

I’ll reach the bottom soon, I’m running outta air

Just promise me I’ll never find you there

I’m so grateful you cut all ties

now that I’m the one who dies

I don’t know exactly when it was

that I could no longer look into your eyes

and I don’t want to see you sad

Now that I am the one who dies

 

I’m so so sorry!

I’m sorry..

My head goes SOS, SOS

But I don’t wanna be saved, no

Am I sucidal? But still alive? Why, fuck- Yes.

 

And I know, I’m such a bummer

It’s just another, another one for the books

Just another suicidal, suicidal summer

 

Yeah, I know- I’m such a bummer

This is is just another one, another one of those..

Doesn’t feel like I have much choice..

It’s just another suicidal, suicidal, suicidal

Suicidal summer

Suicidal summer..

 

 

.

 

 

 

One, two, three, four

Mama said «pick yourself up from the floor»

Five, six, seven, eight

Mama said «Get up and fight»

I told my mama «It has always been too late»

Now I can’t seem to sleep at night

 

Can you hear the doors to my future

Closing like «clank-clank-clank»

This ride was hella expensive

I’m crying all the way to the bank

 

One, two, three, four

I told my mama «I’m sorry, I can’t do this anymore»

Five, six, seven, eight

Mama said «embrace your fate»

But mama, it seems like

it was always too late

 

Can you hear all the good men

Saying «Nah, too many red flags»

and all the good women shouting

»Red flags?? More like body bags!»

 

So it goes

One, two, three, four

Mama said «pick yourself up from the floor»

Five, six, seven, eight

I told you mama

It was always too late

It was always too late

Mama said «Embrace your fate»

I look in the mirror and see someone I hate

 

 

Uh-oh, here she goes again

Thinking madness is a trusted friend

How could you forget; you swore «never again»?!

Never let that crazy bastard reign

 

Control my crazy, I can’t control my crazy

Screaming at the top of my lungs, please somebody save me!

Once I go there, there’s no turning back

A roller coaster, a fucking hurricane inside my brain and I just can’t keep track

These violent turns, they paint my future in black

And trust in myself, now that’s something I lack

 

Uh-oh here she comes, out of it again

Here’s depression, ready with its chain

How could you forget; you swore «never again»

Never let the lunatic and darkness reign

 

Control my crazy, I can’t control my crazy

Screaming at the top of my lungs, please somebody save me!

Once I go there, there’s no turning back

A roller coaster, a fucking hurricane inside my brain and I just can’t keep track

These violent turns, they paint my future in black

And trust in myself, now that’s something I lack

 

Control, control, control my crazy

There’s not a single soul in the world that can save me

Control, control, control my crazy

I’m the only one, but I’m not enough to save me

 

Control my crazy, I can’t control my crazy

Uh-oh,  here they come now- all the demons inside me

Control, control, control my crazy

Bitter truth is, nobody can save me

Nobody can save me from my crazy!

 

 

It was 2014 when I fell down the rabbit hole for the first time

I saw a face I should have never seen, because it made me cross the line

Once you break that final barrier and your mind can no longer keep track

You find yourself in Hell, and there is no way to go back

 

Oh, babygirl if you fall in love with a stranger

then it’s 99% made up in your head

My haunted head

Can’t you see the danger

Of clinging on to an illusion until you’re dead

Life goes by so fast you know, you know

 

I’m running, thinking, spinning in circles

Creating a noose around my neck

Screaming in my head «I’m just trying to save myself!»

But all it really does for me is leaving me a wreck

 

Oh babygirl, babygirl

Why can’t you see the danger

You fool yourself

’Cuz if you fall in love with a stranger

It’s 99% all made up in your head

and are you really hellbent on

clinging to this illusion until you’re dead..?

Life goes by too fast, you know, you know!

 

I wrote «I’m no slave to love», and I guess it’s true because this can not be love

I’m just hooked by the fantasy

It used to be a lifeline

Now it only adds to my misery

 

And I sing to myself: Ooh..

Babygirl, babygirl..

Why can’t you see the danger

You fool yourself

’Cuz if you fall in love with a stranger

It’s 99% all made up in your head

and are you really hellbent on

clinging to this illusion until you’re dead..?

Life goes by too fast, you know, you know!

Life goes by too fast!

You have to let it go..

You know, you know, you know

 

Don’t know what day it is, don’t know the date

Don’t know where they hide out, the people that I hate

That I hate!

All I know is, you’re on my mind, on my mind

and happiness without you is very hard to find

Very hard to find!

Can we go back to the days where it was ‘an eye for an eye’, ‘Cuz the whole world has gone blind

It has gone blind!

 

I was a child once, and you were there

Left my body, abused, said «I’m outta here!»

You told me to go back, to breathe again

I still can’t figure out

If it was as a foe or a friend

I still can’t figure it out!

 

But when you smile that grin, has my heart through the roof

I guess you are my sin, and I’m still unafraid of love because you are my proof

You said I was never in a position to fail you, does that mean I never betrayed you

’Cuz that makes my world go round and it lifts the weights off my chest

and with those words in mind, my mind can finally rest

Because maybe that means I passed the test

 

Don’t know what day it is, don’t know the date

To be honest, I’m not doing that great

That great!

All I know is, you’re on my mind, on my mind

And purpose without you is hard to find

Very hard to find!

Can we go back to the days where it was ‘an eye for an eye’ Cuz the whole world has gone blind

It has gone blind!

 

I was your patient once, you said «Who can you trust»

I don’t know about trust, but I sure felt lust

You let me return to normal life again

I still can’t figure out

If you were a foe or a friend

I still can’t figure it out!

 

But when you smile that grin, has my heart through the roof

I guess you are my sin, and I’m still unafraid of love because you are my proof

You said I was never in a position to fail you, does that mean I never betrayed you

’Cuz that makes my world go round and it lifts the weights off my chest

and with those words in mind, my mind can finally rest

Because maybe that means I passed the test

Maybe that means I passed the test

 

I still can’t figure it out!